To feel loved or to be loved? Many people these days get caught up in lust and confuse lust with love. Many people get blamed for everything that goes wrong in a relationship. They take beatings from their “lover” and say it’s okay just for it to happen all over again.

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that is used to establish power and control of another person. “You start out getting to know that person, you fall in love and everything is great. The two of you get married and start a family, like you should when you’re in love, then the abuser starts their tactics of trying to get more and more control over you. They end up secluding you from everyone in your life, for example, your friends, your family and everyone else that means so much to you.” said Eileen Meadows, the lead advocate at the Crisis Control Center in Durant, Oklahoma.

They’ll tell you that you can’t go out with your friends or do certain things, but it’s okay for them to do the things that you supposedly can’t. They don't want you to have a support group, someone to go to when you need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on, and when you try stick up for yourself, sometimes violence gets involved. “When it get’s to that point, you’ll feel like you need to leave and get away. You won't want to because you’ve invested your life in this person. And when they start apologizing, things will be okay, but then it just starts all over again, like you’re going in circles.” explained Meadows. You fell in love with someone without ever seeing his or her true colors after all the years you spent together and eventually you will realize that you’re in love with a stranger, but that is not love.

Love isn't supposed to hurt. People aren't supposed to control you, blame you, or physically, mentally and emotionally hurt you. Love is protecting, accepting someone unconditionally and treating him or her like they’re the only one in this world to you. People confuse domestic violence as love, and there’s nothing confusing about it because it’s not love. If you are hurting due to an unhealthy relationship, get out while you can. Everyone deserves the world, nothing less.

Karley Freeman

October 2, 2018